Everyone likes strawberries
by ced124
Summary: Who doesn't really? But this story isn't about some fruit, its about a weird guy who mess up with the Bleach universe and Ichigo in particular.Our orange haired hero is going to have lots of fun with pretty much every girl in Bleach. Lemon incoming.Harem.
1. Author's note

Make no mistake; if you are here this day to marvel upon scenes of sexual depravity featuring you favourite Bleach female characters, this here is what you seek. If not, leave immediately for I have no tolerance toward pesky flamers and they shall feel my wrath upon them if they ever dare show their faces in the review section! And if your young mind is not ready for the texts that will follow, go back before it is too late and your thoughts are stained by this fictional erotica. You have been warned mortals! "Rolling thunder"

Note that this fanfic will take place in different parts of the Bleach storyline due to the fact that the Mysterious Cloaked Man that will influence it all can travel in time and change reality to his whim. But the beginning of the story will take place after Ichigo met the fullbringers, while he is alone in his room for the night. If you don't remember, it's in the first pages of chapter 434

Here is the possible cast of the fic (possible because that is A LOT of characters and I don't know if I'll have the motivation to do it all, especially if no one likes it.):

Ichigo, the pimp

The Girls

Humans: Yuzu, Karin, Tatsuki, Chizuru, Michiru, Ryo, Mahana, Mizuho, Ikumi

"Special" humans: Orihime, Ururu, Riruka, Jackie

Bount: Yoshino, Yoshi

Vizard: Mashiro, Hiyori, Lisa

Arrancar: Harribel, Neliel, Cirucci, Apache, Mila-Rose, Sun-Sun, Lilinette, Loly, Menoly

Shinigami: Yoruichi, Sui-Feng, Unohana, Isane, Momo, Nanao, Rangiku, Nemu, Kiyone, Rukia, Kukaku

The Mysterious Cloaked Man (Now THAT is mysterious)

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or any of its characters. They are the exclusive property of Tite Kubo. I do own the weird guy in the magician robes though.

Enjoy


	2. Prologue

**Note: **

**First of all, thanks for adding me to your favorites and writing reviews and all before I even put the first chapter. When I received a message saying someone sent a review I was like: "Wow I didn't do anything yet" and then I received six or seven alerts. Frankly, I thought it was funny how I got attention on this little tease. I posted it just because it was already done.**

**Anyways, someone said I forgot to add female zanpakuto and he was right. I already had planned to add them from the start but I forgot. Thanks godism. For the incest with Yuzu and Karin that someone said he wasn't sure he wanted, I won't put it right away so you can enjoy normal stuff on the first chapter. They are damn hot since the timelapse though so I really want to include them, especially Karin.**

"Normal"

"_Thoughts"_

"**Author"**

**That was a long note, let's get to the story.**

**Enjoy.**

"I'm home!" yelled Ichigo as he closed the door behind him.

His sisters who were worried about him immediately went rushing to the stairs and exclaimed in unison: "Ichi-nii/Ichigo".

Ichigo turned to face them and said casually: "You two are still up?"

The girls, surprised, didn't answer and looked at him silently.

"Go to bed already. You're gonna be late tomorrow." Ichigo told them.

Not understanding why they weren't responding and looked at him like he came back from the dead, he asked, puzzled: "… hey guys? You gonna answer me?"

Finally snapping out of their trance, they looked at him with relief and exclaimed together with a big smile on their faces: "Okay! Goodnight Ichi-nii/Ichigo"

**That part was taken directly from pages three and four of chapter 434.**

Ichigo was lying on his bed, looking at the ceiling thinking about the past days and his encounter with the fullbringers. Questions kept flowing in his head about what they said about restoring his powers. How were they going to do it? How much time could this take? Could he trust them? "_I should stop thinking so hard and rest. I'll need it._

Just as these thoughts flowed to his head, a bright flash and a loud "BOOM" made him jump out of bed and head first on the floor. Smoke engulfed the tiny room and caused him to cough uncontrollably. A deep cavernous voice then exclaimed:" Fear not young man. I will not hurt you in any way."

The orange haired boy looked in awe as a dark silhouette emerged from the cloud of smoke. He soon discovered the owner of that shadow was a small man wearing what seemed like a black hooded robe that looked like it came directly from a fantasy video game of some sort.

"What the hell are you doing in my room you godamn freak!" yelled Ichigo angrily.

"Calm down young man, your outburst could have woken up the ladies in the other rooms." The mysterious cloaked man whispered immediately, his hands in front of him in a calming way.

An expression of disbelief quickly appeared to his face but was soon replaced by an angry one as he shouted at the man: "My outburst? Are you kidding me? You're the one who proly woken up the whole neighborhood with all your pyrotechnic effects! You think you're on a stage or somethin'?"

"I am truly sorry." apologized the stranger." I admit I might have overdone it with my dramatic appearance." he then snapped his fingers and said calmly:" There. They are all asleep again."

"What's with you snapping your fingers and saying everything's ok? You not what you look like aren't you? Some kind of wizard I mean."

The man paused for a second and bursted in laughter as he heard this.

"_What's wrong with this dude._" thought the shinigami as the cloaked stranger still laughed.

The man regained his composure and answered him:" I wouldn't call myself a wizard or magician, really. I do have immeasurable power in this realm though."

Unamused, Ichigo asked blatantly: "Who are you anyway, Merlin?"

The man twitched at what he said and replied angrily: "My name is not Merlin, it is Jimm… eum. I mean… My name is of no importance for you. Simply call me "Mysterious Cloaked Man"."

Ichigo looked at the Mysterious Cloaked Man with exasperation and said "Eum… That's not really practical for a name. I'll call you MCM instead."

The man twitched again but calmed down and replied:" Whatever, let us dwell on more important matters would we? I have come here to propose you a bargain that would be quite profitable for both sides." He paused briefly to add a dramatic effect before revealing the deal, much to the teen's frustration." Here it is. I have this list of women here that I would be quite satisfied that you'd look at.

Ichigo took the paper and looked at it, puzzled as what to think of it." _These are all people I know. There are even enemies that were beat up in the past_."

"What about it?" he asked suspiciously.

"Well, it would be good of you to have sexual intercourse with all of them."

The orange haired teen froze as the shock of this declaration took out his breath." _There is definitely something wrong with this guy_."

"You got to be kidding me right? This is just a bad joke right?" asked Ichigo in disbelief.

It was hard to know the Mysterious Cloaked Man's reactions since his face was hidden but he seemed serious when he replied: "I wouldn't joke about a deal so serious wouldn't I? "Seeing that the orange haired shinigami wasn't saying a word, he added:" Now now. It isn't that big of a deal. Also, the reward alone would be enough to make you change your mind about this matter and that is without mentioning that you could enjoy yourself freely without restraint."

"What could possibly make me do that? My friends are on this list as well as my enemies, MY SISTERS and even people that are dead." yelled Ichigo.

"Didn't you listen to what I was saying?" responded the man." I told you already that I could do anything I wanted without limitations. Look, I will show you."

As he snapped his fingers the room blurred and reappeared but now looked like it was drawn by a six years old child. The man had changed into a badly drawn rabbit and upon looking in the mirror; the shinigami realized he had changed too.

"Holy shit! We look like one of Rukia's drawings."

The man chuckled and said:" I knew you would recognize this right away. As for the reward…"

"Change us back first this is unbearable." begged Ichigo.

The cloaked figure snapped his fingers again and returned everything to its original state. The teen sighted in relief as he regained his human body.

"As I was saying, the reward you would gain by accomplishing this task would be the possibility to be real." finished the Mysterious Cloaked Man.

The orange haired boy looked at the man not understanding: "Make me real? What is that supposed to mean?"

Both remained quiet for a long time. Then the man said to the go:" You don't exist, Ichigo."

"What nonsense is this? Of course I exist, and many people could confirm it." Ichigo told him after making sure he heard the sentence well.

"That is because they are not real either. This world around you is fake. Even I am a product of someone else's imagination. We are fictional characters in a fictional world." clarified the man.

The shinigami dropped to his knees as soon as he heard the last word. At first he tried to deny it but there was this terrifying feeling he had, that his very existence was just a fiction.

**If I were Ichigo I would have killed myself right after realising that and it wouldn't be so convenient so I'll just make it so he doesn't care.(He knows it anyway, that he doesn't exist so I can do whatever I want)**

"For some reason I feel better now." said the teen calmly.

"Don't ask yourself too much questions if you want it to stay like that" replied the cloaked figure.

"Being free of a plotline would be great. I'll do it then." accepted Ichigo without hesitation.

"Marvelous!" exclaimed the mysterious man." Let us begin then. I suggest that you start off with your little sisters then."

"What? No! Let's take someone else please." said the young shinigami, disagreeing with the other.

"Fine!" exclaimed the man." It would be the most simple choice since they are just here at your disposal but have it your way! You won't touch your sisters." He then added in a whisper to himself:" For now."

**That was longer than I thought it would be. I know I said there was going to be lemon but I feel my other chapters won't be this long so I don't want it to be too different in size. I'll just cut it here. This is more of a prologue than a chapter so I promise it won't get as serious in other chapters. There will be sex soon! I swear it upon all that is good in this world.**

**Farewell**


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